Oyster stories

[radegund]

You may remember the story trope of our house magically moving to another country. Today we had a brief series with farm animals - "Tell a story about Niall and Oisín coming downstairs and there was a cow outside the window! And the house was in France!" At dinnertime this evening, it was "Tell a story about our house moving to Germany! And there was a goat outside the window!"

And then, "Tell a story about our house moving to Spain!" So I started.

Mama: One morning, Niall and Oisín got up early and came downstairs, and ... oh. Was there an animal in the front garden?
Oyster: No, there wasn't.
Mama: OK, so, they didn't notice anything unusual, until Oisín wanted to go outside. And when they got outside, they saw ... what did they see?
Oyster: A plain with rain falling on it.
Mama: *hugs Oisín because he's just so brilliant* Ah! So they said, "We must be in Spain, because the rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain!" [I've no idea where he got this - not on my watch, anyway. Probably K.] And they went and got Mama and Fiachra, and they all went exploring. And they found themselves in ... the countryside?
Oyster: Yeah, the countryside - near the plane's airport!
Mama: Near the plane's airport! Of course.
Oyster: And beside the airport they found a field full of sheep and sheep and sheep and sheep and rams and lambs!
[The story petered out at this point, which didn't seem to matter.]

From the archive

Division of labour
[A couple of days ago.]
Mama: Oops, we'd better pick these up! Come on, Unny, help me pick them up.
Oyster: No-ohh, children have mamas!

Consumer advocacy
In spring, we went to H&M to buy some pink and purple clothes from the girls' section, because they are Oisín's favourite colours. He'd asked for these, and we'd had a discussion about how some people think boys and girls should wear different colours, and that boys shouldn't wear pink and purple. He declared that we should write a letter to those people and tell them that boys CAN wear pink and purple. I must get my act together and actually do this with him, because I think it's great. (I found Du Pareil Au Même on that same outing, which still segregates into "boys' clothes" and "girls' clothes", but has great colours for both - including pink and purple for boys! Hooray! Their website isn't Safari-friendly, mind you.)

Junior copyeditor
You may be familiar with the cloying children's song Me and My Teddy Bear (that links to the lyrics). Oisín absolutely loved this for a while when he was two, but hasn't listened to it much in the past year or so. A couple of months ago, he remembered it, and I sang it for him (ick), and we started talking about the lyrics. Why, he wanted to know, if the teddy bear was brought by Santa Claus at Christmas (see quatrain 1), is it depicted as having "one eye" and "no hair" (see quatrain 4)? This made no sense to him, because having one eye and no hair means the teddy bear is old, and Santa Claus makes the toys new. I didn't say, "The lyricist is a patronising git who sought to tick the warm fuzzy boxes by referring to Christmas presents and beloved toys, without thinking of the logical flaws in the scenario - or, perhaps, believing that as the song was aimed at children, these flaws didn't matter." I waffled a bit. Then Unny said we should write a note to the people who sing this song and tell them that they should sing "has two eyes and has hair" instead.

So I told him about copyediting (which, for those just joining us, is the job from which I'm currently on leave).

Then a few days later he was looking at a work of mediocre children's literature entitled Busy Little Farm, and he said, "I am going to edit this book and tell the publishers to publish it again but with a different picture, because the cows should have udders." (Which they should - he pointed this out last year when we got the book.)

Twenty-first century child
[This is from around September, when I was pregnant. Oisín had been there for our first ultrasound scan, and we were going for a second one.]
Mama: We're going to Holles Street for a scan - we'll see the new baby on a television screen.
Oyster: No, a computer screen.
Mama: Actually, yes, you're right, it is a computer screen.
Oyster: Does the new baby have grey skin?

Comments

[mollydot.livejournal.com]

Hurrah for Unny and Du Pareil Au Même!

[radegund.livejournal.com]

It sounds as though he very much might! What sort of age-range are they aimed at?