Two things
Jul. 2nd, 2005 12:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
radegundThing One:
In my dream last night I was on a train somewhere in England with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
biascut. We passed a sign for a tiny village called Oggin Buggery, and spent a happy few minutes giggling at the name, speculating as to what an oggin was and how one might go about buggering it, and so on. Then the man sitting behind me leaned around to tell us about the only time he got to speak to the Queen, when he had to explain to her that the thing they were talking about was in this village. "It's in Oggin Buggery, Ma'am," he enunciated in a parodic I'm-Talking-To-The-Queen voice. The three of us dissolved in mirth.
Thing Two:
An ad on Newstalk 106 at the moment begins "Do you feel the need to upgrade your diamond ring?" It's for a shop in Stillorgan, as far as I remember. And yes, for this bears repeating, they are offering to "upgrade" your jewellery, by which they mean that they'll take your "solitaire" ring and render it more diamond-encrusted for you.
What. The. Oggin-Buggering. Fuck?
"Do you feel that insufficient Third-World miners were ruthlessly exploited by multinational corporations to fuel your conformity to a commercially manufactured nuptial tradition, and can we help rectify this sorry state of affairs?"
"Do you feel that during a week when potentially millions of people will march to demand an end to world poverty, there can be no better use of your money than to bolster your flimsy sense of self-worth by taking a piece of jewellery that we in the industry have designated sub-standard and adding to its monetary value?"
"Do you feel that the ring bought for you by your impecunious suitor, back in the day, no longer meshes so well with your opulent lifestyle, and can we help erase the painful memory of that disappointing moment when you realised that he had sprung for nothing more than a solitaire by ensuring that you never again have to sigh over this lonely little rock? Maybe it could be his anniversary present to you? Hmmm? Does he love you that much?"
In the interests of full disclosure, let me state that I wear a big, fuck-off diamond and sapphire ring every day. It belonged to my aunt, who died in 1990, and it was given to me on my 18th birthday. I gather that it was an antique when it was bought. I have no idea what its monetary value is. I find it beautiful, but I can't discount the horrible conditions under which its raw materials were undoubtedly acquired.
Anyway. It's not the wearing of jewellery I'm raging at, here, so much as the offer to "upgrade". Which ... just. Ugh.
In my dream last night I was on a train somewhere in England with
biascut. We passed a sign for a tiny village called Oggin Buggery, and spent a happy few minutes giggling at the name, speculating as to what an oggin was and how one might go about buggering it, and so on. Then the man sitting behind me leaned around to tell us about the only time he got to speak to the Queen, when he had to explain to her that the thing they were talking about was in this village. "It's in Oggin Buggery, Ma'am," he enunciated in a parodic I'm-Talking-To-The-Queen voice. The three of us dissolved in mirth.Thing Two:
An ad on Newstalk 106 at the moment begins "Do you feel the need to upgrade your diamond ring?" It's for a shop in Stillorgan, as far as I remember. And yes, for this bears repeating, they are offering to "upgrade" your jewellery, by which they mean that they'll take your "solitaire" ring and render it more diamond-encrusted for you.
What. The. Oggin-Buggering. Fuck?
"Do you feel that insufficient Third-World miners were ruthlessly exploited by multinational corporations to fuel your conformity to a commercially manufactured nuptial tradition, and can we help rectify this sorry state of affairs?"
"Do you feel that during a week when potentially millions of people will march to demand an end to world poverty, there can be no better use of your money than to bolster your flimsy sense of self-worth by taking a piece of jewellery that we in the industry have designated sub-standard and adding to its monetary value?"
"Do you feel that the ring bought for you by your impecunious suitor, back in the day, no longer meshes so well with your opulent lifestyle, and can we help erase the painful memory of that disappointing moment when you realised that he had sprung for nothing more than a solitaire by ensuring that you never again have to sigh over this lonely little rock? Maybe it could be his anniversary present to you? Hmmm? Does he love you that much?"
In the interests of full disclosure, let me state that I wear a big, fuck-off diamond and sapphire ring every day. It belonged to my aunt, who died in 1990, and it was given to me on my 18th birthday. I gather that it was an antique when it was bought. I have no idea what its monetary value is. I find it beautiful, but I can't discount the horrible conditions under which its raw materials were undoubtedly acquired.
Anyway. It's not the wearing of jewellery I'm raging at, here, so much as the offer to "upgrade". Which ... just. Ugh.
