Transport of delight

I wish there was an L-plate for cyclists - something that would signal to the world that I am a beginner, awkward and clueless, that I have only the crudest notion of how far my handlebars stick out (wing-mirrors beware), that I'm liable at any moment to swerve, feet flailing manically, having abruptly mislaid the pedals.

So I collected niallm's bike from the shop this morning and rode it to work. It wasn't too bad, I suppose, despite the obvious scorn and frustration I engendered in all the real cyclists who whizzed past me as I threaded my ponderous way through the traffic. (Superego? Moi?) Leg-wobble-wise, moreover, it wasn't bad at all. And I felt quite energetic on arrival, despite my ridiculous lack of sleep.

But the burnng question is: will the oil-stains that transferred themselves to my sky-blue trousers as I gripped the machine in a panic on Harcourt Street come out in the wash, or do I have to give them individual attention?

Greener Than Thou

I just cycled from work to Terenure in the pissing rain to get our weekly ration of organic vegetables, then home with leeks and kohlrabi leaves protruding comically from my panniers. Despite the feeling of unassailable virtue one gets from such an endeavour, I'm here to report that cycling in the wet is deeply unpleasant. Nevertheless, I'm smug about having resisted the temptation, on nearing home on the outward leg, to bolt for cover and get in the car.

Now, how many environmental-rapist points do I need to set against the eco-brownie points I get for saving the petrol, to account for my extravagance in taking a second shower today (with concomitant release into the drainage system of an extra squidge of bastard capitalist shower-gel) and consigning an extra set of clothes to the wash-basket?

Success!

Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes! It's not yet midnight, and I'm going to bed!

(No, you don't understand. This is a very big deal for me. I've been trying to do this since Monday and failing ever more miserably each night. But tonight, I'm finally doing it. I'm the king of the world!)