The relative heaviness of being Radzer

yiskah was talking about losing things. My comment to her ballooned, and was also All About Me, so I've put it here instead, as a rather pointless entry...

I have an uncanny facility not to lose things, although I live in a state of relative chaos. Even seasonal things, like gloves and sunglasses: I've been known to use the same ones for years and years.

I seem to have some kind of a "possessions field": I can feel if something I had earlier is now missing. It's definitely an unconscious tic rather than something I have to remember. I have one handbag, and everything in it has a particular place. When I go out, I know how many items I'm carrying (e.g. handbag, bag full of random crap that I'm bringing to work, phone in pocket), and when I leave anywhere, I automatically check that they're all still with me. Obviously, it doesn't always work that way, but deviations are rare.

Sometimes I even wish I did lose things more often, so that I could have the pleasure of replacing them with shiny new ones without worrying about how wasteful I was being. Little things, I'm talking about, now, obviously, like umbrellas or scarves. Not important things like phones or wallets.

One consequence of this thing-stickiness is that I use things until they fall apart. My gloves have holes in them. Most of the umbrellas in this house are broken (but still usable, so I don't actually get around to replacing them). My beloved red sunglasses, which I bought in 1993, are knocking around somewhere with sewing thread holding one of their legs on instead of a screw.

Another consequence (or maybe a cause?) is that I tend to get quite attached to these things, and if they get lost it stands out in my memory. Shortly after we moved house the best umbrella in the world disappeared. It was one of those Marks and Spencer ones that has a button to make it go up and down, and a big chunky curved wooden handle. It was great. (And it worries me deeply that I have no idea where it went.) I go and fondle its descendents sometimes in the shop, but they're not cheap, and I have about four €5 umbrellas to get through before I can justify buying one.

Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks, I suppose.