Sex education

[radegund]

jinxremoving has a poll about sex education, which is generating a fascinating discussion and which triggered a raft of memories in the Radzerian brain. My comment grew into a monster (sorry, Nine!), so I've decided to inflict it on all of you, too.

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When I was about seven I went with my baby sister to her minder's house one day when school was closed, and I ended up watching a children's educational programme, illustrated with cheery fat naked cartoon figures and big arrows. The voiceover was by a man with a Scottish accent. I have ever since retained the phrase "The boy PUTS his penis into the girl's VAGINA" (although this may be a false memory). At any rate, by the time the cool girls in school were teasing anyone who didn't know "the facts of life", I was able to hold my own.

Then I learned from books (my parents would have told me if I'd asked, but I sensed that they'd have been embarrassed). My mother was pregnant with my brother when I was nine and ten, and I fascinatedly read every word of one of her pregnancy magazines. Then I found her copy of Everywoman, and read and reread the section on orgasm, feeling as though I'd stumbled on the most wonderful knowledge in the world. Couldn't wait to try it :-) That was when I was eleven. Later, I read her copy of Our Bodies, Our Selves, and felt very repressed and unreconstructed because I'd never attended a consciousness-raising group and examined my own cervix using a speculum and a mirror.

Compared to all this, the so-called "sex education" we received at school (Catholic, all girls) was fucking pitiful. We learnt Human Reproduction in second-year science (aged 13 and 14), from a teacher who clearly wanted to get away with talking as little as possible about any of it. Our mission for the duration of the class was to make her as agitated as possible by forcing her to say words like "scrotum". One girl got into trouble for drawing a diagram of the male reproductive system on the blackboard with the penis pointing up rather than down. No mention of the clitoris, or indeed anything beyond the biological basics necessary for reproduction.

I dimly remember that there was a talk about "hygiene" somewhere along the way as well, but it was so vague that you could have been forgiven for thinking it was about wearing deodorant and washing your hair rather than anything bloodier.

Then, in fifth year (16- and 17-year-olds), the infamous Father Michael Cleary (see glitzfrau's comment if you don't know why he's infamous) came and gave us a talk, wherein he revealed several Shocking Facts, including the memorable "the withdrawal method doesn't work" - and he should fucking know, the hypocrite. Also, if I recall correctly, "statistically, some of you sitting here in this room will turn out to be LESBIANS". To put things in perspective, this was by far the most honest, open and unembarrassed communication we had ever had on the subject from an adult. I mean, he actually acknowledged that we would most likely be having sex and explained some of the risks of doing so unsafely.

And that was about it. Nothing was ever said at school, as far as I recall, about any of the non-reproductive aspects of sex. Abortion was covered in religion class (and the teacher flatly refused to discuss with me why the Church persisted in banning contraception, given that its lack necessarily led to more decisions to abort...).

The funny thing, looking back on it, was that NONE of this prepared me for the experience of sex (other than masturbation, of course, with regard to which the relevant passages in Everywoman were invaluable!). I suppose I was sufficiently well educated not to risk unprotected intercourse, but - can you believe this? - I was well into my teens before I figured out that any movement was entailed in the transfer of sperm from one body to another. And as I've never had sex with a woman while sober (sombre confession, that), the lesbian side of things remains extremely murky to me.

I hope things have changed in the last twelve years, but I'm not overly optimistic.

Comments

[ailbhe]

The movement thing came as a surprise to me too (no pun intended, oh, lord...)

We were given a talk about periods, pubic hair, puberty making you smell more (she more or less insisted that anything less than daily showers was disgusting), and so on in first year. She didn't cover anything like "How often do you have to change a sanitary towel or tampon" though, which was information I couldn't find in any books anywhere.We got some kind of reproduction class with Chambers in about second or third year, probably second; I remember that she had a video which showed a man and a woman having sex and it embarrassed her so much she tried to fast forward through it and so we saw it all at high speed. The same video had a natural childbirth, blood and all, which bothered some of the girls.

The girl who drew the erect penis was legend by the time we had our sex ed class. I still tell the story, too. I didn't realise it was that recent; it had the patina of age about it by the time I heard it.

I don't remember any information on contraception, but I do remember the decriminalisation of homosexuality and my making a speech about it for some kind of debates and culture day. For weeks afterwards boys were asking me if I'd ever done it with a girl. I think my main point was that all these supposedly broadminded people were actually not very and they were pretending to be broadminded to look cool. I've only ever met one person from school in the Dublin Pride parade.

I learned the facts of life from biology textbooks; my older sister's leaving cert biology book was very informative when I was about 10. By the time I was 16, I was renting out my copy of whichever Nancy Friday book I owned to interested boys; I think I got 50p a night *just for the book*. Cigarettes cost about 1.20 for 10 at this point, so that was ok.

I had never thought much about homosexuality until I met KatherineF, but it didn't come as a surprise to me. I was surprised that some people thought it was strange.

A.

Re:

[radegund.livejournal.com]

She didn't cover anything like "How often do you have to change a sanitary towel or tampon" though

Good point! Another nugget of information that my angsty teenage self could really have done with was that completely irregular periods aren't all that uncommon and don't necessarily betoken barrenness...