Monstrous Knickers

[radegund]

My new "firm support briefs" from Mothercare are unfeasibly huge. They are, in point of fact, the largest knickers in the world. Entire families toiled for generations to pick the cotton that went into them, while countless drill bits wore blunt extracting the oil to make the elastic and the fetching nylon trim. They're virginal white (inappropriately, I realise), and they settle in vast billows about my loins.

We had to get an articulated lorry to transport them from the shop. A team of tanned, muscular salespersons heaved them up the ramp, the sweat glistening on their chiselled biceps, the veins in their necks standing out like hawsers.

Really.

With copy-editorly glee, I note from the packaging that they provide "lumber support", which is good, because I'm definitely lumbering a bit these days.

But they're comfortable. Oh yes. And when I'm finished with them I can send them off to be dyed and made into yurts for indigent Mongolians, or Olympic banners, or something equally worthy.

Comments

[treasure-box.livejournal.com]

Lol :D